A Survivor’s Story & Journey of Reflection

Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hi everyone. We recently rolled out a feature where you could win a one-on-one with me in one of our recipients. I heard a story that I was so moved by that I wanted to make that available to all of you. I had a one-on-one with the winner, but today we're gonna share part of Helen's story. I think you're gonna find it really inspirational as I did. Helen, thanks for taking the time to do this today. I love that you are listening and following along on the Lady Boss podcast and loved, loved, love getting to hear your story because really it's a story of courage for sure. I think that people would love to hear, I mean, the part that really struck me is when you said, Hey, I'm a single mom. I'm gonna make these life-changing decisions, and how do I take what I believe in and what I need to do for myself and turn it into a business? Speaker 2 00:01:10 Yes, absolutely. I have, and I'm not gonna lie. It's scary. It is. And to all the women out there that are trying, are trying to figure it out, and they have this drive and this passion and this purpose, and they, they wanna do something that is truly in their hearts, are are afraid to take that leap of faith. Sometimes you just gotta take the leap of faith and figure out how you can make it work. And I know you represent that and so does lady, you know, lady Boss Podcast represents that. And but for me, I had to truly work with that inner voice, that inner child. I had to work on the healing process because I'm a survivor. I am lived experience as survivor of child abuse from my father. So physical and emotional abuse. So that little girl <laugh>, um, grew up hearing she wasn't good enough, that my self worth wasn't valued, that I was stupid, that I was nothing. Speaker 2 00:02:03 So those self-limiting beliefs, I carried them on for years as well. I mean, they were embedded within me, but then it is into adulthood. So I've always wanted to do something and take that leap of faith and really use this as an opportunity to share my story. Cuz my story isn't, um, a secret among the family. I've talked about it. My father's apologized to me before he passed away in 2009. So this is something that we've worked through as a family, but I didn't do enough to really work on myself. And so those limiting beliefs or those, um, a lot of the self-sabotage, the, the self-doubt I carried on through life. And sometimes you're pushed and I'm a believer in God, so sometimes you're pushed. And he pushed me. And unfortunately last year I was working as a director for a nonprofit. The environment was very triggering. Speaker 2 00:02:57 I wasn't aware why it was triggering and making some poor decisions. Even as well as I worked as a director, being in the midst of trauma focused work and crisis focused work was triggering. And I lost my job, but my six figure job. Mm-hmm. And it was hard as I was like, what am I gonna do? And that was a blessing in disguise. So I went to my therapist immediately and I saw therapy for the first time at 49 and went to the therapist immediately, what is happening to me? And I said, why am I numbing? Why am I freezing? Why am I present? But my mind is elsewhere? What is happening to me? And that's when she says, freezing and dissociation are symptoms of P T S D. So I was diagnosed with complex P T S D. So with the help and support and now the knowledge and the understanding of what's happening to me, I'm, I was able to go onto this path of healing. Speaker 0 00:03:53 Thank you for that background. I think people listening would probably relate to the feelings, whether you had the kind of trauma, um, that you just expressed and talked about with the feelings of not being enough in business. Um mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I felt that so many times along with the imposter syndrome. Like, why am I here? Why am I good enough to be the ceo? Why am I good enough to lead all these people or knowledgeable enough or smart enough, or any of the enoughs? So I completely think that part of the entrepreneurial journey is a working through the voice in your head that will tell you all the time you're not enough. And then you layer that on with the, the trauma that many of us experienced as young people. And um, you know, that, that it is just complicated. So I really applaud you for just like taking, I love what you said. You just take a step and so many people have lost so much. You know, when you, you said you lost a six figure job, that was a big to-do. You were a single mom. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I know that. So here we are inspirational by Helen is, um, out speaking and writing books and working your way towards the future you want, what does success look like in a couple years? Speaker 2 00:05:11 My story is truly making an impact in the lives of others, of course, because my goal is to really talk about the effects of childhood trauma and also destigmatize mental health. Those are the two biggest, um, areas that I wanna touch. Um, hopefully help people, but you don't have to come from a place of trauma. I think you mentioned that, to take that leap of faith to help women. We all carry doubts. We all carry insecurities. Doesn't make us an insecure person. Just we carry these beliefs, insecurities. And as women, I think we have it really hard because we're not supposed to lead even this day and age. We're often told and sometimes embedded in our culture or in our life in society that we're not supposed to leave lead. We're not supposed to be a CEO and we're still not, you know, that, that, that, um, there's still that gender gap in business, right? Speaker 2 00:05:59 And so we're still trying to, to climb that ladder. So hopefully this will give an opportunity for women is yeah, I come from a place in trauma and I'm doing it, but everyone is having some kind of doubt in the successes that they can carry out in life. So in the next couple of years, I'm hoping to empower more people, lift up more people, share my story. And the only way I could really do that is getting out there. So I have to be in the presence of company and people. I do really well in person. So I provided a, um, three hour training with therapists and they were so impressed with my story and they're like, wow. And I, I read poetry and we, we share my poetry. They interpreted this, the book during a reflection and I allow them to interpret the poetry from, from their perspective as the therapist and then what I'm going through. Speaker 2 00:06:48 And there was a lot of aha moments that came out that I was like, I should take that poem back to my therapist because I didn't think of that when I wrote it. I did a conference, a breakout session with 80 individuals sharing the healing journey. I did a parenting workshop online on Zoom, then I'm gonna do this other seven, six week parenting, um, workshop with another um, entity. So I'm branching out there and I'm hoping that that using my name and my platform inspiration, my Helen and story will truly transform the lives of others. Speaker 0 00:07:18 Well it's a super inspirational story, particularly and adding on, as you mentioned, um, to me on our first call, that you're a Latina. And I think that having that, um, heritage is also important where others can really look up to you. So you're very brave to do this. I am so thrilled we were able to get your story out to the Lady Boss podcast listeners and hope that, you know, the power of one plus one is always three and my book. And I just hope wish you so much success on your, your book, the Journey of Reflection and your speaking. And I know that uh, this is just the first of many of our interactions and I hope that we'll be able to meet live someday when I'm in the West Coast store. You're in Chicago? Speaker 2 00:08:02 Yes. That'd be nice. Yes, I'm in Southern California and um, it's not very sunny these days, <laugh>. It really blew me. <laugh>. I miss the sun. But that would be amazing. And as I continue this journey, you know, I really do hope, um, that as we, you and I interact and continue this, um, that we can continue to help and support women Speaker 0 00:08:22 Absolutely. Speaker 2 00:08:23 Across and yes. So you did mention I I am Latina, so yes, I am Latina and I do share that part of my story. I grew up in East la, east Los Angeles. I was born, I moved more than 25 times before I completed high school. Went to nine different schools. If anyone knows anything in the world of trauma, if you look at adverse childhood experiences and the adverse childhood experiences score the highest score of being a 10, I have an eight outta 10. So that's my score. And with that can lead to trauma. Not necessarily always, but it did lead to trauma in my case. So using my story to help others. And I've always thought that I proved this great life, right? I want to be educated this Latina breaking barriers. I'm fine. I have no problems, I have no issues because I wanted to break free from that past in my own way. Speaker 2 00:09:11 And unfortunately I really didn't need some help. And I really want to encourage women and individuals out there to seek therapy when needed. Cuz therapy is often probably know how stigmatized it is, but oftentimes there's a fear base of not going because they really don't know what happens in therapy. They don't know what support they need or what they need to talk about. So there's, there's just a lot of stigma around it with a lot of the unknowns. So I do encourage that as well in my presentations. But breaking barrier is important and we, we have to do what we have to do as women. Single mom of three young adults. My son just graduated high school so he's now officially young adult cuz he's 18. But they rely on me, you know, and they live with me and I'm their primary breadwinner as they're in school and working and navigating the young adult life. Speaker 0 00:09:59 Well congratulations. I think that, um, I'm so fortunate that we got to connect through the Lady Boss podcast. I feel fortunate to have heard your story. I think it's really super inspiring and I'm a big fan of inspirational by Helen and I hope that all the things that you wish for and are working towards in your business come true. Speaker 2 00:10:21 Absolutely. Speaker 0 00:10:22 Thanks for your time, Helen. Speaker 2 00:10:23 I appreciate it so much.